It seems EVERYTHING in my life is getting worse again, from the pain to the bipolar and anger:( I have felt so horrible for a few weeks and just when i thought it couldn’t get worse, IT DID.
I have been accused by so-called good friends that i had cheated once on my boyfriend, with her brother. in which by the way her brother at the time one of my best friends. to make a long story short, the couple kept asking me and the brother if we had ever had sex together, we said no way, and he stated that i was the most faithful person he ever met, and believe me he’d know, we did spend a good amount of time together, i knew he wanted us to be a couple, but i was never interested in that way, not to mention i am MADLY IN LOVE WITH DWAYNE! THEY kept prying and asking and we all laughed about it because of their ongoing attempts to try to get us to say we did, they tried before to get me to go with B ( WELL CALL HIM B) and even then i reassured them i was happy where i am. so anyhow, after the guys had the room and KRISTY the sister, implied that we can’t fool her, so we laughed and I said “ya we did but shh don’t say nuttin.and again we laughed, i thought she knew it was a fucking joke.
WE, THE couple Dwayne and I HUNG OUT every Sunday night for three months,
THEY 3 MONTHS LATER TOLD MY BF I CHEATED ON HIM AND MADE A REAL MESS OF THINGS FOR A LITTLE BIT, WE TALKED, I THREW A SHIT FIT AFTER ( i havent been doing good mentally as well as physically,) it brought me over the edge, I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE LET have a nervous break down.
My BF believes me for more than me just saying it didn’t happen, so I am so lucky i didn’t loose him, in the moment he threw me out and wanted to end it, they would have won and that would have made the hypocrites that have it all wrong HAPPY, BUT INSTEAD THEY NOT ONLY LOST ME FOR A FRIEND THEY HAVE ALSO LOST DWAYNE, GUESS THEIR PLAN BACKFIRED, SUCKERS,
Its been over 2 weeks now, they are talking to their whole family and shit about me, i was VERY CLOSE TO THE MOM, and had friends that are the family, They tell me they believe nothing happened and as far as ROB N KRISTY they are ass holes, I am so annoyed by all this, I still think i should go in the hospital, i need to release some Anger, although things have been great with Dwayne and I, but i do know I need to work on somethings. PEACE ALL
LOOK LIKE EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY:) ULCERATIVE COLITIS but is mild to moderate, his stroke symptoms are almost gone, it was so slight:) he wont be so lucky if there is a next time, but hopefully there wont be.Dad is feeling good today, even his damaged legs are holding him up:) YAY. only mission now is His meds,ASACOL. we are working on alternatives and a way to get it..400.00$ doctors r working on it too, and of course me getting home, had a plan for today but moved it up to tomorrow, for a couple of reasons, mainly wanna figure out his meds before mom leaves him for three hours to take me to Portsmouth, where ill be meeting one of my friends which ill grab a ride to Conway, and from Conway I have many FRIENDS who will get me from there to bring me to maine:) LOL CONFUSED? HAHA I WAS TOO
AS FAR AS MY PAIN…….well slowly its coming back to a full throttle, I have to go another week before I can my shots, so I will probably suffer, but things could be worse, I could be suffering with worrying about dad cuz he was deathly ill, or worse. so I will count my blessings and deal with my pain.
GOOD DAY ALL AND GOD BLESS
THEY HAVE DONE ALOT OF TESTS, AND ARE GIVING HIM A CAT SCAN AND AN MRI SOON, POOR DAD had a very uncomfortable test and it caused a lot of pain, dad never screams re pain:( we havent got any results yet, but i am certain we will know something today, again i will keep you informed. lets just pray nothing is life threatening:( mostly worried about the mass on his kidney:(.UGHHH THIS IS SO STRESSFUL, and the HOLIDAYS ARE HERE, THATS HARD ENOUGH ALREADY:(
SORRY AGAIN….. that i havent been faithful with the updates re; my new treatment, which by the way.IT DEFINATELY HELPING ME, still have pain, but can function and its way less,UNTILL 2 THE PAST 3 DAYS(ITS BEEN 3 WEEKS THOUGH) I have slowly got more pain and pinched nerves a muscle spasms.. besides apologizing for not keeping my promise, DAD HAS BEEN SICK………..Thtas why i Havent been here, Dad suffered a minor stroke right before thanksgiving, so of course i came to MASS, i live in Maine, AS SOON AS I HEARD…………HE has since came home from the hospital, he is slowly getting all his memory,functions back, as soon as he gained “HIS NORMAL” he suffered from bleeding of the rectum:(. I know i havent spoke of Dad, but he has a curvature of the spine that’s at a 45 degree angle, so it IS amazing he stands let alone walks, well long story short, hes been struggling with walking for a while now, and also suffers from C.O.P.D. I..just to catch you up quickly………….
TUESDAY NOV 20th,
WED NOV 21rst.
Dad is still very confused and not remembering things and people to well, a lot he talks of is the far past, the good news is the stroke wont leave him with any signs, they said after a week maybe less he will gain his memory and feeling of his face, confusion will get less. he will not suffer any permanent damage, of course he is a high risk for another stroke, and next time he wont be so lucky. but for now WE are all happy of the news.
just an update,
its been 2 WEEKS WED, WHEN I GOT MY FIRST RELIEF OF FIBRO PAIN, IT HAS HIT ME THIS MORNING WITH A TON OF BRICKS AGAIN:( TY TO KELLY AT THE PAIN CARE CLINIC FOR SQUEEZING ME IN TODAY FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF SHOTS A FEW DAYS EARLIER, SO I CAN HAVE A GOOD THANKSGIVING AND VISIT MOM AND DAD IN MASS,:) I SO DON’T MISS FEELING SO BAD AND FOGGY TOO, I THANK GOD AND MY NEW DOCTOR THAT I CAN GET RELIEF, I DON’T KNOW HOW I EVER MANAGED, GOOD DAY ALL.
O M G, ITS 1230 PM AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY SELF, I ALWAYS HAVE FIBRO FOG UNTIL 3 ISH OR MORE, and always out of energy and depressed, AND ITS NOT THERE HAHAHA I ‘M DAMN BORED AND HAVE ENERGY THAT IM NOT SUPPOSE TO USE UNTIL TOMORROW, THE SUN IN SHINNING AND I AM SMILING, IS IT POSSIBLE THIS EARLY? I DID GET A GREAT NIGHTS SLEEP:) MAYBE ITS TIME TO PICK UP THE GUITAR AGAIN, I AM AFRAID TO TRIGGER MY MUSCLES, AND THAT OFTEN DOES IT, SAY A PRAYER BROKEN, LETS BREAK THIS PATTERN:)