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Tag Archives: Family

  It seems EVERYTHING in my life is getting worse again, from the pain to the bipolar and anger:(  I have felt so horrible for a few weeks and just when i thought it couldn’t get worse, IT DID. 

I have been accused by so-called good friends that i had cheated once on my boyfriend, with her brother. in which by the way her brother at the time one of my best friends. to make a long story short, the couple kept asking me and the brother if we had ever had sex together, we said no way, and he stated that i was the most faithful person he ever met, and believe me he’d know, we did spend a good amount of time together, i knew he wanted us to be a couple, but i was never interested in that way, not to mention i am MADLY IN LOVE WITH DWAYNE! THEY kept prying and asking and we all laughed about it because of their ongoing attempts to try to get us to say we did, they tried before to get me to go with B ( WELL CALL HIM B) and even then i  reassured them i was happy where i am. so anyhow, after the guys had the room and KRISTY the sister, implied that we can’t fool her, so we laughed and I said “ya we did but shh don’t say nuttin.and again we laughed, i thought she knew it was a fucking joke.

 WE, THE couple Dwayne and I HUNG OUT every Sunday night for three months,

THEY 3 MONTHS LATER TOLD MY BF I CHEATED ON HIM AND MADE A REAL MESS OF THINGS FOR A LITTLE BIT,  WE TALKED,  I THREW A  SHIT FIT AFTER ( i havent been doing good mentally as well as physically,) it brought me over the edge, I  THOUGHT I WOULD DIE LET have a nervous break down.

My BF believes me for more than me just saying it didn’t happen, so I am so lucky i didn’t loose him, in the moment he threw me out and wanted to end it, they would have won and that would have made the hypocrites that have it all wrong HAPPY, BUT INSTEAD THEY NOT ONLY LOST ME FOR A FRIEND THEY HAVE ALSO LOST DWAYNE, GUESS THEIR PLAN BACKFIRED, SUCKERS,

Its been over 2 weeks now, they are talking to their whole family and shit about me, i was VERY CLOSE TO THE MOM, and had friends that are the family, They tell me they believe nothing happened and as far as ROB N KRISTY they are ass holes,                  I am so annoyed by all this, I still think i should go in the hospital, i need to release some Anger, although things have been great with Dwayne and I, but i do know I need to work on somethings.  PEACE ALL


 NOV,25TH                       I ALMOST MADE IT HOME…… DAD’s   Doctor called and wants him admitted to the hospital again:( not because of his slight stroke though, he’s having bleeding      through his rectal, and is having stomach issues(he has a large mass on his kidney) and as some of you know, Dad has walking issues too, due to nerve damage because his spine  has around a 45 degree angle, literally amazing he stands at all…
                his legs and feet have now become often cold and numb, his circulation obviously…well probably has none, and he quickly is losing the feeling in both of them, 2 weeks ago only one leg was this bad.:( SO BACK TO NOT GETTING HOME, AND NOT SURE HOW THE HELL ILL GET THERE EITHER, if all goes ok 2moro i will go wed, But i cant let mom take me to Portsmouth and leave Dad, regardless, and i cant ask for a pick up all the way here and back.
AT THE HOSPITAL……………………………

THEY HAVE DONE ALOT OF TESTS, AND ARE GIVING HIM A CAT SCAN AND AN MRI SOON, POOR DAD had a very uncomfortable test and it caused a lot of pain, dad never screams re pain:( we havent got any results yet, but i am certain we will know something today, again i will keep you informed. lets just pray nothing is life threatening:( mostly worried about the mass on his kidney:(.UGHHH THIS IS SO STRESSFUL, and the HOLIDAYS ARE HERE, THATS HARD ENOUGH ALREADY:(

It has been now  over a week, since the incident I am about to discuss happened, It has bothered me till no tomorrow, i wish i was a fast typer so i could quickly bring you up to date, but to make a long story a little shorter I will begin with  this…..

My ex and I were together for 23 long years, great times, hard times, the usual,  i didn’t NEED for anything FINANCIALLY. emotionally and physically is a whole different story, but for now, the FINANCIAL part is all we need to mention to get my point across in all this drama. I  have been with my NEW  boyfriend now for 3 years, he has 2 yes TWO EX WIVES I NEED TO DEAL WITH, red flag right there right? ya well…… those 2 ex wives came 3 yes THREE CHILDREN, another RED FLAG, all boys. I have one daughter who is now 16, and independent and great in school, etc…anyhow……..I left my life of  ” HAVING LIFE BY THE BALLS, NOT NEEDING FOR ANYTHING, HAD BOATS(of every kind),SNOWMOBILES, DIRT BIKES HOT TUB, 2 MIN WALK TO PRIVATE BEACH, THE BEST NEIGHBORS AND BOUGHT ANYTHING I WANTED, ANYTIME, YOU GET THE PICTURE…….BUT…..HE has cheated on me more than once and I finally got fed up with it, after I found out he cheated on me with someone very dear. I found this out AFTER she had passed away. so all the broken pieces can never be full again… I let my guards down, and in doing so I met the most wonderful man, who treats me with so much love I never knew  possible… soon i was swept off my feet, falling in love on the walks leading to our picnics, chuckling, being silly, saying silly things, waiting to hear from him the next day….ahhhhh I AM GETTING carried away huh,? sorry I got lost in the moment. lol. But actually I hurt already from sitting here writing and i need to rest my body. for it is fit for SPASMS any minute, seeing i am coming slowly out of a bout of  Fibro, again i ramble, i need not to explain. i will say i guess i will call this ”SHORT STORY” chapter one..    TO BE CONTINUED……. GOOD NIGHT ALL, GOD BLESS AND PEACE.

Little Robin fell from the tree, mom and dad I didn’t see, was just trying to fix her up, i shouldn’t have tried to pick her up, all the noise they did make, oh boy a BIG MISTAKE, they flew angrily around my head pecking every chance  that they got, I threw the box over my head and ran to the safety of my shed. was a while before they went away, poor baby bird had to stay. I just wanted to shelter here and keep her safe and warm, afraid she would not make it, my heart would be so torn. I love Gods creations and try to do whats right, I hope the little birdie makes it through the night.Image

she looks a lot bigger in this pic, which I actually took with my crappy cell phone, as you can see I was very close. again I wrote it into a poem, wasn’t suppose to be, the words that I need to write just come together perfectly. ha-ha    GOOD LUCK LITTLE ONE. and PEACE

Why I let others feelings about me, get me so down is beyond me. I try not to let it happen, I guess I am not in control of my thoughts as much as I would like to be.

the day started off better than it has for the past month, as far as my fatigue goes, my pain level was more tolerable, but every ounce of me was swollen, a lot has to do with the barometric pressure,  which is something I just comprehended today, I always wake up swollen in rainy weather, but couldn’t grasp how my body knew it was crappy out. lol. anyhow…..

my boyfriends ex-wife calls, she’s not very happy cause we want his 11-year-old son to live with us. this is where at all started, she has decided to speak very rudely about me, and how I don’t work and I shouldn’t be spending money on certain things.  FYI…I DON’T ASK HIM FOR A PENNY.  I DON’T WORK DUE TO MY  BATTLE WITH FIBRO AND BIPOLAR. which for a month straight now has been unbearable to live with, and has left me doing absolutely nothing for a major part of the month. which is very discouraging.( my boyfriend D.A.E, of 3 years, excepts  who I am and he understands my battles, and is very supportive)

I am rambling again and getting off track, as usual lol. ill make a long story short, since I have been back and forth trying to write this  post for hours, I keep getting side tracked and now its time to sit and watch a movie and relax. so..

AS I WAS trying to say……we have a 3 bedroom place, he has 3 BOYS , one that’s 3 and spends 2 nights a week with us, and two of his boys 11 and 17, are here 4 days a month, unless a holiday or summers are here, then they’ll spend more time here. my 16  year old daughter, is here 3 to 7 days a week, and the ex wanted to know WHY, DOES HER KID HAVE HER OWN BEDROOM. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?. I’M SO ANNOYED AT THIS AND THIS IS ONLY A FRACTION OF HER RUDENESS TOWARDS ME AND MY CHILD. I MEAN DO YOU WANT YOUR 16 YR OLD DAUGHTER SHARING A ROOM WITH A BOY OR BOYS? what she not allowed to have her own space, because her  or their kids are more worthy? which by the way, I cant begin how to tell you how rude, ignorant and lazy her oldest is, smoking weed, stealing my booze and then telling his mom I am a liar. oh don’t get me going.  I know you don’t know me well, but this alone says a lot about how ignorant this chick is. I am 42 years old, we are not children here. SORRY I REALLY NEEDED TO VENT AND HAD NO WHERE TO TURN TOO, SO I FIGURED ID LET IT OUT A LITTLE HERE, too bad I cant type fast, some of you would love to hear more, maybe I will start a new category involving exes and their children. what do you think?

ALL I know it bothered me so bad I spent hours crying on and off, and it has dampened our day. I didn’t get my errands done and my almost smile has been a frown. UGH